Nonno Gino in South Africa

Nonno Gino arrived today! He is so happy to be here. His flights went well and he is settled in his little guest house. As we were coming back from the airport, he kept saying how much South Africa looks like Conway. What???!!! There are absolutely no similarities between Durban and Conway. Conway doesn't have palm trees, banana trees, sugar plantations, etc. He is convinced they are so similiar. I just agreed because it was doing no good to say otherwise.
They girls are beside themselves to have him here. They keep taking him by his hand and showing him around. Earlier tonight, they were sitting on the counter in the kitchen while he was doing the dishes (yes, he stubbornly said he was going to do the dishes despite me telling him to just relax) and I heard the girls in there trying to teach him Zulu words. Forget the Zulu, teach him some English words. They were saying "Repeat after me, Sawubona, Saaauuuubonaaa". So cute. And he couldn't figure out if they were speaking in English or any other language for that matter because his English is so limited.
He loves the yard and said it look liked botantical gardens. He picked avocados and we sat on the veranda and drank coffee.
Earlier in the afternoon, he wanted to go to the bank and change some of his money so we were on our way to Hillcrest. We had Mavis in the truck to drop her off at the taxi rank in Hillcrest. We are on Inanda Road (a very busy highway with traffic and people walking). All of a sudden, I see this young white guy trying to ride past these two Zulu guys who were walking. As he was trying to get past and avoid getting in the road, one of them pushes him with his elbow. The young boy, I would say about 16 years old, falls off his bike in the middle of the highway right in my path. And I am talking RIGHT in my path. I had a line of traffic behind me and a line of traffic in the other lane coming towards me with the closest vehicle being a motorcycle. But I knew I could not hit this boy so I slammed on my brakes and went into the other lane. Mavis was in the back screaming. I figured I would rather hit an oncoming car then to crush a boy in the road. It all happened in what seemed like slow motion. God was watching over us because by literally inches, I missed this boy and luckily missed the cars in the coming lane. I think I must have closed my eyes for a few seconds because it all seemed so cruel and unreal. I pulled over and ran back to check on the boy. He was shaking and so was I. He said he was okay, just a scrapped elbow and very shaken up. I asked him if I could drive him home or take him somewhere and he said no and he was thankful I stopped to check on him. I told him that we all saw it happen- the two guys push him into the road. What in the heck were they thinking? It took me a little while to get over the shock of thinking I could have ran over someone in an instant had it not been because I was paying attention to the road and not speeding. Gino didn't know what to think about it all. I told him here it is like that. You have to watch every second for people, cows, taxis, etc. Driving here is not easy. I NEVER even attempt to talk on the phone when I am driving here. Haven't once since arriving. I let it ring.

Sienna said this morning that when she grows up to be a rock star she is going to sing Jesus Loves Me at her concerts. That sounds like an oxymoron. Sofia says that she will be a rock star when she turns 65. They are so cute. I am not sure why all of a sudden they want to be rock stars.

Sienna said "Froggy's dad got stung by 1000 sting rays this morning". It's always some tall tale with her.

Back to the ritual of bringing a loved one home after they have passed away. I found out more about it yesterday because I was in the car with my staff who had done this ritual over the weekend. His sister was 24 and as I had already mentioned died of Aids. He had married an older man who came from far away. He already had it when they got married. His other wife died of Aids first. Then he married this girl. He died soon after and the girl remained with his family. About 6 months later she started getting very sick but the family didn't recognize the signs of Aids. By the time her brother, my colleague brought her here she was too far along to take ARV drugs to slow the illness. She went from the hospital to a hospice. She had 3 children and miraculously they do not have HIV or Aids. So, she died in a hospice at 24. Now, this bringing home ritual involves them taking the same path as when she died. They had to start at the hospice with her spirit and take her from there. The hospice no longer exists but is now offices. Nonetheless, they have to start there. Then, they drove to the burial place and from there to the home where she can stay. All the time in the car, as I mentioned, an elder has to explain to her what is happening. If you forget to tell her, for example, you are crossing a bridge, her spirit will stay at the bridge and they say then later, a sangoma will call you to come and collect her because she has remained there at the bridge.
On to the animals. If it is a female you are bringing home then the goat and the cow must be females. If it is a male, then male animals. He says the goat is killed two days before and the cow a day before. The goat's throat is cut (and he said it was absolutely awful seeing the animal die). The cow is killed with spears. He said you must tie it to a very sturdy tree with a rope and it is killed with spears. He has seen cows get free and then things are not nice for the cow afterwards.
When it is a male who has died, there is much more "celebration". There is dancing and drinking of the homemade brew. When it is a female, things are much more somber.

HIV and Aids is rampant in the villages here. It is sad. Many don't want to believe that it could be Aids or they think it is witchcraft. And the fact that men can have many wives doesn't help the matter. This same staff member said his brother and the brother's wife have Aids as well. And the very sad part is that their little child of 3 years is positive. He said it is heartbreaking to see this 3 year old suffering. The child is on ARVs but he is still very, very sick. And he is worried about what will happen to the child when the parents die. No one deserves the deadly disease but especially not innocent children. There are armies of children here in Africa who have lost their parents, who are heading households themselves or relying on elderly grandmothers. They call this the missing generation.

Statistics are scary here in South Africa. Taken from a UK newspaper- In the continent's economic powerhouse, South Africa, 800-900 people every day are dying from Aids. The country holds the dubious record of having 5 million HIV/Aids sufferers: the highest number in the world, with 21.5 per cent of the population infected.

21.5% infected. That is one in five. There does seem to be hope though. Just this week, in a groundbreaking study here in KwaZulu Natal, a gel women can use was found to be up to 54% effective in preventing contraction of HIV if used consistently.

Party Planning

In less than 3 weeks the girls will turn 5! Unbelievable! They are very excited about their party. We have settled on doing zebra (black and white) and hot pink as the colors. We aren't really doing a theme. They couldn't settle on one them and it was getting chaotic. Their invitations turned out really cute. Today, they passed them out in their class to all their classmates. We will have the party on the 14th. We will do a scavenger hunt, breaking the kids up in 3 groups and also do cupcake decorating like last year.

Gino arrives on Wednesday. Sal arrives on the 11th. yay! It will be good to have family here. I have been busy getting the guest house ready. It looks nice.

Today, when I picked the girls up from school, Asiphile confidently walked up to me and said "I'm going to marry Sofia". I said "Oh really and when will this happen". All the while Sofia is standing there blushing and says "No, Asiphile, I am NOT going to marry you, I already told you that a million times, I am going to marry Quinn and you will marry Sienna". He then proceeds to give Sienna a kiss on the check and asked her to marry him. Sienna says "sure" and blows him a kiss. WHAT???!!!

The Zulu culture is a very complex and interesting one. This weekend, one of my staff had to bring his sister home or welcome her back to the house. She died two years ago and her spirit needed to brought home. Usually, upon death, the Zulu tradition is to burn all the deceased belongings so no evil spirits hover in the vicinity. Depending on when the family can afford and organize this ceremony can dictate whether this happens within a few months or a few years after the death. They speak to the ancestors to allow the deceased to return home to rest. It is believed that at the graves the spirits are hovering on the earth and are restless until they are brought home—an extremely dangerous situation for the family. Animals are slaughtered in anticipation of this event. Chickens, goat and an ox. And lots of traditional beer made of millet and other cereal grains is made. As the elder brother, he had to go and get her spirit and bring her home. Along the trip, as he has the spirit in the vehicle with her, he must talk to her and tell her what is happening. If he stops at a stop sign, he must tell her he is stopping. It is very fascinating. And now she has been returned home and will hopefully look over the family.